Belonging and Leadership
by Jay Gamelin, Pinnacle West Associate
Recently, high schools here in Littleton, Colorado, have begun measuring an index that reflects how connected their school communities feel to one another. They call it a “belonging index.”
This index gathers qualitative data about how students and staff feel connected to their community and how integrated they feel within the life of the school. In other words, it measures how students experience being part of their high school. The goal is to move beyond test scores and achievements to focus on the social and emotional well-being of students.
What’s especially striking is that the school in our county with the highest belonging score is the same school all three of my sons graduated from: Columbine High School. Yes, that Columbine High.
I was not part of this community in 1999, when the Columbine tragedy occurred. Yet, twenty-six years later, I still feel the residual pain that lingers here. Many of my friends lived through that time. Some were even students at Columbine then. But this community has shown remarkable resilience, continually learning how to heal and grow from that horrific event.
So how did a community and high school once infamous for a national tragedy become a place where belonging is now a defining value?
The answer lies in the leadership of Columbine High School.
Principal Scott Christy is the kind of leader who intentionally shapes the school’s culture around care and connection for every student. Each year, he highlights a core community value and reinforces it weekly during his school-wide address. He never wavers from emphasizing key virtues like integrity, connection, courage, and consistency.
He’s also famous for showing up at plays, concerts, games, and award ceremonies. It’s clear from the students’ reactions how deeply they respect and adore him. He ends every address by declaring Columbine “the best… school… on… the… PLANET!” It’s pure joy to hear the students shout those words back in unison and pride.
Mr. Christy models for all leaders, especially those in faith communities, how essential our role is in shaping culture. Consider a few lessons from his example:
He embodies the values he teaches.
He genuinely cares for his community, and it shows.
He uses consistent language to reinforce values.
He never stops reminding his community of who they are and what they stand for.
He shows up.
His care isn’t just expressed in words but demonstrated through presence and action.
Now, think about your own leadership in your community or congregation and reflect on this example.
Do you deeply care for the community you are called to lead? It may seem like a simple question, but it’s essential. Are you willing to love them and want the best for them, even when they frustrate you, just like high school students sometimes do? Can you set aside bitterness and resentment in order to love your people well and do they see, know, and feel that love?
What language are you using to reinforce your community’s values? Do you highlight those values often in sermons, articles, studies, and personal interactions? Could your community repeat them back to you, word for word, because they’ve heard them so consistently?
And finally, do you show up for your community? Of course you can’t attend everything, and your own family should never be sacrificed on the altar of ministry, but are you present for the important things? Do your people see that your love and care are more than words, but also action and truth? It’s surprising how many pastors and leaders miss the critical moments such as funerals, weddings, graduation parties, and more. Yet these small investments of time and attention create powerful connections and show that we truly care.
So, how might you measure your own community’s sense of belonging? And what is one step you could take in the next six months to strengthen that index? How can you care, use language, and show up for your community so that they may know your care and love but, more so, your leadership?
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Pastor Jay Gamelin is Lead Servant for Family Life at Abiding Hope Church (ELCA) in Littleton, CO. Jay loves to work with church communities and student ministries on creating cultures where people experience the Jesus way of life.
