Intentional Hospitality Before Radical Hospitality

by Joel Pancoast, Pinnacle West Associate

I’m pretty sure almost everyone who is actively engaged in a church community would say they are there because their church is welcoming. Probably every church community has people at the center who say something like, “My church is my family,” or “I come to church to connect with some of my favorite people.” Family and connections and nurturing faith are blessings of church community.

But once a person is at the center of community, do they share that welcome with visitors and those on the margins of community? Do they even know if they’re welcoming? Many church communities claim “radical hospitality,” as part of their character, but sometimes it is helpful to engage in “intentional hospitality,” even before you get radical. No matter where your church falls on the hospitality spectrum, since loving and welcoming the neighbor and stranger is a central part of Jesus’ character, every church can benefit from being intentional in their hospitality, taking stock and growing in their welcome.

It isn’t always helpful for pastoral or lay leaders to just point out the flaws, but leaders can help people at the center imagine (or remember) what it is like to be a person on the margins of your community, visiting for the first time. This is a contextual process that will be different for every church community, but what follows is a short list to start to move through an intentional hospitality process:

Before a person even arrives, how do you communicate who you are?

— Website

— Social media

— Community publication opportunities

— How does the signage outside your building identify you?

What is the experience of entering your space and community for the first time?

— What is it like to drive into the parking lot for the first time?

— Are there signs that point out where to go for worship, the offices, bathrooms, classrooms, or whatever gathering someone may be there for?

How do those at the center of community engage those on the margins?

— When a visitor enters the building, do others turn and stare, pay no attention at all, or go out of their way to greet a person and help them feel welcome?

— How does it feel to be welcomed by a few people at a time versus being swarmed by people excited to see you, or even paraded in front of the community and asked to stand and be recognized?

— Does your church have intentional greeters, whether assigned or take it as their personal responsibility, who greet visitors? If you are a visitor, how does it feel to be greeted by someone who is identified as having that responsibility versus being greeted by a “regular person” like themselves? *I’ve found it helpful to simply tap someone at the center of community on the shoulder – someone you know will be welcoming – and ask them to go introduce themselves, ask about them, and thank them for coming.

— Does the pastor have time to greet a visitor or are they tied up with greeting and catching up with those at the center?

As a leader, when you move through an intentional welcome process, practice compassion over judgment for those at the center of community. If people do not show welcome to those at the margins, it’s probably more out of fear than being unwelcoming. Even though they are at the center, surrounded by people who know them and love them, many worry about saying the right or wrong thing to a visitor. In larger church communities, some worry about welcoming someone and finding out they have been part of the community for many years. In a small number of cases, people find it inconvenient to tear away from their friends to welcome others. So give them resources, teach them examples, and share helpful words to say to make a person feel welcome.

One final note about a way to move through an intentional welcome. Several years ago, the leaders at the church I served made a deal with leaders at another nearby church. Over several weeks, we sent visitors to each other’s churches to assess how welcoming we were. The leaders didn’t tell anyone this was happening; we wanted these visitors to have a regular experience coming from the margins without those at the center acting any different than normal. After several visits, those visitors wrote a kind of “report card” for each other’s churches, reporting their experience of how they felt welcome and how they felt less than welcome. Congregational leaders helped others receive the feedback with grace, respecting how others felt welcome and imagining themselves in others’ shoes. Then we stepped forward into an intentional welcome, one step at a time, one relationship at a time, to create a community of intentional welcome for those not (yet) at the center of community. This partnership is something we continue to do every so often, because hospitality never seems to be an achievement that is complete, but an ongoing goal to show others a welcome into the kingdom of God.

Often, it can be helpful to have someone from outside your faith community assess your congregation's welcome. If we can help you, contact us at Pinnacle West, and we'll send a consultant over to work with you. We're here to help you!