Big Personality And Presence Pastors

by Rev. Mark E. Tidsworth, Founder and Team Leader

Can we go ahead and acknowledge that Americans love big personality and presence leaders? Larger than life, their presence filling the room, able to captivate a crowd… Americans seem drawn to this kind of leader, with a wide variety of social, cultural, and emotional dynamics combining to form this leadership style preference.

Unsurprisingly, the American church mirrors this dynamic. Not thoroughly, not completely nor totally, yet enough to recognize the trend. Think Billy Graham, William Sloan Coffin, Rick Warren, Adam Hamilton, and so many more. Typically excellent communicators, they also have presence, a way of being that includes authority and influence. 

What then do we make of this? More particularly, most pastors carry some of this big personality and presence approach to pastoring within them. Pastoring is a very public leadership endeavor, requiring an ability to be up front and also among the people. If a pastor has no ability to engage these moments, they typically don’t last long in ministry. So, every pastor must relate to this dynamic, whether it’s their natural self or not. 

So, were I able to give counsel to these big personality and presence pastors, what might I say? I’m glad you asked, because I and our team regularly interact with these pastors primarily through leadership coaching, yet also through our training and consulting activities. Here are six recommendations for big personality and presence pastors.

Go ahead and be who you are. 

God gifts people in many ways. Regardless of how you are gifted, go ahead and accept and affirm your gifts, whatever they may be. This is not an exercise in denial. By being who you are, you will make a greater contribution to the Christian movement than by denying your gifting. 

Recognize the natural limitations in your gift mix.

Again, every gift mix includes strengths and weaknesses. The danger for big personality and presence pastors is to take up too much space. Then, the church becomes all about the pastor, nearly guaranteeing church decline when the pastor leaves, retires, burns-out, or burns-up. When authentic humility is practiced by these pastors, they recognize this vulnerability, taking steps to strengthen the church, expanding its ministry far beyond this particular pastor. 

Make your unique contribution, while developing others.

Be who you are, bringing the fullness of your personality and presence to each day of ministry. Simultaneously, constantly look for and cultivate others in the church to lead and serve. Using your influence to empower others is excellent stewardship of the gifts given you. This too takes some level of humility, and is high yield ministry with your church, positioning the church well for when you are no longer in the mix.

Build systems for channeling and supporting ongoing ministry apart from your influence.

Another danger for big personality and presence pastors is to shift the church system to where this pastor’s presence and influence is necessary to get things done. Without them, the system grinds to a halt, requiring their direct presence. Clearly, this makes the church vulnerable, increasing negative exposure. Instead, wise big personality and presence pastors develop systems and structures for ongoing ministries that can run well without their influence. This is a great gift to churches where these pastors serve. 

Resist the urge to build shrines.

Metaphorical shrines to self, yes, but I’m pointing to literal buildings here. Though it doesn’t happen as often as it used to (given the shrinking American church), big personality and presence pastors are notorious for launching overly ambitious building campaigns. Due to numerical growth, the case is made for more facilities, often requiring the church to take on significant loans, increasing financial stress. All too often these pastors leave during the building process, or soon thereafter. Constructing buildings takes GREAT effort, burning out pastors, or making the grass look greener elsewhere. Then the church is stuck with too much space, shrinking crowds when this pastor leaves, and excessive debt. Pastors, resist that urge to build shrines. 

Find people who will tell you the truth.

Remember Daniel Goleman and the Emotional Intelligence research? Howard Gardner actually did much of the original research, with Goleman articulating it well. Regardless, these Emotional Intelligence researchers named the dynamic we intuitively knew: the higher one goes in an organization, the less one is told the truth about one’s leadership and effectiveness. The reasons for this are numerous and obvious, while also setting up leaders for poor self-awareness and expanding blind spots. Big personality and presence pastors find people who aren’t so invested in your approval or authority that they deny you the truth. We all need those who will speak truth to us, loving us with reality. 

There’s more to say of course, yet these six are pivotal. I hope to address other personality and presence pastors in future articles. In the meantime, may we bring our best selves to the calling of pastoral ministry.