A Case Study in Grace

by Peggy Haymes, Pinnacle Associate

Sometimes it takes a long time for a story to unwind fully.

It was 1986 and a church committee was evaluating candidates for their Associate Minister position. The committee was down to their two finalists, a man and a woman. For a woman even to be considered was a rare thing in those days.

Each candidate had things to commend and things to question. They were neck and neck and the committee couldn’t decide between the two.

Finally Dot spoke up. “We say we support women in ministry. Maybe we should put our money where our mouth is.”

And that is how I became their Associate Minister, the first ordained woman to serve in that position. But that was only part of the story.

Decades later someone from that church called to let me know that my friend Agnes had fallen and broken a hip. They had to do surgery, but she wasn’t in great health so her prospects were fraught. I dropped everything to go to the hospital. When I was serving her church, Agnes was a long time Sunday School teacher whose presence in my Bible studies stirred fear and trembling in my soul. No matter how much I’d prepared, Agnes prepared more, and she wasn’t shy about asking questions. A few years after I left that staff I returned as a member, and Agnes and I enjoyed being church family together. We talked while she waited for surgery. At one point she said, “Peggy, I have something to confess to you.”

My mind started racing. What in the world did Agnes have to confess? I nodded for her to go on. “I didn’t vote against you when you came,” she said. That wasn’t news to me. My call had been unanimous. “I didn’t vote against you but I couldn’t understand why we were calling a woman when there were so many fine male ministers out there.”

I silently took that in. Agnes continued. “But then you came,” she said, with her brilliant blue eyes shining and a smile spreading across her face, “and I saw that you were going to be my friend.”

Just the other week another piece of the story unfolded.

An active member of the church when I was there, he’d moved to his second wife’s church when he remarried. Now, nearly 101 and approaching death, he had no strong connections at either church. So it was that he and his family asked me to do the service. After his death I reminisced with his daughter about those days when I was there and especially the strong bond I had with her mom, Margia. “Mom was so proud we were calling a woman,” she said. “She told everyone that we had to treat you right, and she was going to make sure we did.” Young and green, I’d never appreciated how much Margia had my back in those days. As the story filled out, I finally realized how much Dot, Agnes and Margia had been a trinity of grace for me and how fortunate I was to have them.

In truth, we all need of them.

As a church, we need the prophetic voice of a Dot, calling us to live the values that we profess even when it means entering unfamiliar territory and doing something we’ve never done before.

We need the patience of an Agnes willing to suspend judgment and even personal preferences in order to be open to where the Spirit might lead.

We need the pastoral gifts of a Margia, recognizing that following God’s call to do a new thing can be exciting but also hard, and who never forget that clergy are people, too.

Dot. Agnes. Margia. Prophetic. Patient. Pastoral.

May we who serve churches be blessed with such people.

And may we who serve through churches as members be such people.